(28) Jessie Szep

(28) Jessie Szep

Keeping an open heart

A friend asked me the other day why it was so difficult for me to move on from situations that I know are not for my highest good or that no longer serves me ???? Relationships in which I suffer and I undermine myself for the sake of others ? Why do I stay in bad situations where I feel pain and sorrow ??
I replied "because when I say goodbye to someone that I loved it feels like an actual death to me.....I actually go through a grieving process where I feel the pains of losing someone " This may sounds highly dramatic to some, however this is my reality. I am a very feeling , emotional, creative woman , therefore my highs are high and my lows are low.
It feels like death. Therefore saying goodbyes is never an easy process for me. One which I would rather avoid at any cost .

In the past, I have made the concious choice to eliminate 3 childhood friends from my life. Friends whom I still love and think of often. Each time it was very very sad for me..the best choice for me at the time and definately still is but none the less extrememly hard.
My relationships now boil down to this .............. taking off the massive "rose coloured glasses" that I tend to wear. Just take them right off and see the truth of situations!If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck .....IT IS A DUCK!!!
And my new motto is "I could love everyone at a soul level and forgive people at a heart level but I do not need to continually sacrafice and have them in my life.

AND Just because I could "understand" deeply why a person does what they do, does not mean I must accept it in my life . If it's not working for me , I now move on. I'ts getting much easier as I cultivate my core. My center. This is my newest peice of spiritual work COMING BACK HOME TO ME !!!! My centre, my core , falling back into me. Making myself happy rather than depending on other people or circumstances happy.

Keeping an open heart
xo
Love to me and you,
Jess

Pro's and con's to moving to Victoria

I'm currently out west visiting and am so exited at the wonderful anticipation of my life. I realized I have a choice to be scared and fearful or happy and exited!

These are my thoughts on why I would love to relocate to British Columbia.

PROS

#1 I FEEL much more centred and grounded....more calm

#2 B.C seems to fit my current lifestyle. I am a health advocate who owns and operates a wellness centre. I am also a personal fitness trainer . It seems that people in Victoria live somewhat healthy lives. Lot's of organics and jogging, hiking , diving.

#3 There are lakes to swim in ...CLEAN lakes. UNBELIEVABLY gorgeous..like a fairy tale.

#4 There is no snow....but if you want to ski you can still do that as well:)

#5 I am single, no kids , it's just me , therefore I am able to relocate with out much hassle.

#6 I have spent 2 entire summers here and I already know my way around

#7 I have great friends here.

#8 I like being by the ocean...who doesn't?

#9 People are friendly

#10 It's an adventure. I could plan to stay 1 year with the option of coming back to Toronto.

#3 I'm most afraid of putting myself in a box KNOWING that life is so very very short!!! Shit I'm almost 40 ??? How the hell did that happen?

Con's

#1 I have a business in Toronto that I worked my ass off for,creating it and making it happen.

#2 Family and friends live in T.O and I will miss them

#3 I have safety in Toronto because I know people and I have lived there since 1996-97

#4 It would take a while to build a clientele ....to start over.

#5 I may get bored on the west coast......Gortex , Gortex , Gortex!!! It's nice to dress up in a skirt and a pair of stiletto's sometimes!! Theatre, ballet, interesting restaurants.

#6 I'm afraid of feeling alone?

#7 I might be worried about $$$$$ at first.

#8 Being single might really suck in Victoria because most people are family oriented (I think).

his is m

Fall is Here!

Fall has arrived....I celebrated the Fall equinox by participating in a Indian Sweat Lodge. The ceremony was quite spiritual and quite lovley. I got the message I was looking for.
Seeing as it was a potluck celebration, I brought some greek salad and pita bread to contribute.

So....fall is here and Im ready to launch my new business "JessFit Holistic Personal Training"
Im so exited to launch this ...Im ready for the new sucess in my life that awaits me!
My new business not only "personal training"....I have created different packages my clients have the choice of choosing from.
An example of 2 services I am offering would be...
#1. Myself or my staff will come into your home and revamp your entire kitchen.This means donating all foods that are not condusive to the JessFit program to a local woman's shelter. White pasta, white sugar, boxes cereals, ...pretty much anything that is processed, that has been altered in anyway.
#2 An organic grocery shop tour, label reading lesson , and lesson on alternative pastas and sweetners, food in general will follow. I believe this extra service will assist my clients in achieving their goals quickly or at least quicker.

Packages will then be sold for personal fitness training in order to build long lean muscles and lose body fat. BUT>>>>>the kitchen must be set up first ensuring a greater success for my clients.
I offer in home training as well as in studio training held inside "Islington Village Wellness Centre"
This is going to be so much fun!
Jess

I just planted my very first organic garden!!!! I cant wait till i can step out into my back yard and pick aan organic tomato of the vine!!! Wow..how that exites me!

Summer is here.....im off to plan my summer.....Definately going out west...i cant wait to walk beside the ocean!

Im off to my mission ...not work ...my mission!